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The Onion on Biofuels

The Onion, America's Finest News Source, takes on biofuels in this week's edition, with a helpful infograph listing some current lines of research. Among the fuels you might expect to see at your local gas station:

  • EcoCoal--bituminous, geologically occurring combustible that comes in a nice green container.
  • Ethanol--corn-based gas additive included at the insistence of corn-farming uncle.
  • DynOil--petroleum substitute made by putting long-extinct biomass under extreme pressure for millions of years.

    I found this rather amusing. As always, your mileage may vary.

  • Comments (1)

    My business partner came up with another one:


    American's are increasingly obese. My partner's proposal is to equip SUV's with liposuction tubing, built right into the seats. The tubes would lead to a small lye/methanol/body-fat reactor in the engine compartment. The more you drive, the slimmer you get. When the fuel gauge nears "Low", you head for the nearest fast-food drive-up window for a double bacon cheeseburger.

    Your mileage may vary indeed.


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